I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
