I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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