If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
