You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
