Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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