my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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