Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
