Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
