lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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