I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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