oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
love makes seman taste better
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
