I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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