everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
