I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there's paper in my vomit.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
