She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
