well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
