And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
