Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
