butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
