so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
