Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
