I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
