Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
