I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My liver just broke up with me...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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