i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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