the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
