Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"