I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
