what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
