I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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