I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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