Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
