I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
