And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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