What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
