Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize