would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
