he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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