How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
