you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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