she was so not down for the gang bang
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
