I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
