don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize