Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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