Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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