Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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