just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
