He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
