You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
