I cockslap morals
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
