so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize