That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize