suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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