the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
