i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
