I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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