Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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