Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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