and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
