At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
