That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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