Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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