ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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