I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
