Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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