and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
